Ok, so I listened to the Meeting Aesclepius.\ mp3, and I don't really know how I am supposed to feel about it. I sat through the initial narrative, and it reminded me of listening to bible on cassette as a kid; this may not have bothered me (since I have always held to my beliefs) but it was used as punishment so I like to read it myself nowadays, lol. I was listening to him talk when the female narrative started up for the exercise itself; sudden change in tone was a bit startling. The part that bugged me was when I was supposed to visualize someone that was a comfort to me, but I don't have someone like that that I would really visualize as a wise anything; I don't have the ability to visualize comfort.
I have lived most of my life without my parents help (would have been better without them), without comfort; you get used to that, and eventually you forget how it works. I would have an easier time visualizing someone I would easily comfort instead, such as a child or a good friend. For me to comfort is easy, that's what I'm good at; to be comforted to me is a joke, lol, I don't trust many with my emotions. 
I have been using mindful meditation more often, and it is coming easier to me than before. I have gotten to the point where I know I can't always get everything done right now, when before I freaked out when things didn't get done when they should, I couldn't let things go. 
The saying One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself, means that you cannot properly advise another about something you have not truly experienced yourself. This goes double in the health field, as you can't sit there and tell someone to quit smoking and make them feel horrible for ruining their health, if you smoke. I had an osteopathic doctor that lost 20 pounds, just so that he coudn't tell his patients to lose weight with extra baggage on himself. It pretty much means don't be a hypocrite and don't be a know-it-all. I went into the field of psychology to understand my family better, it has been a blessing.
 

Assessment Unit 6

I did the universal loving kindness meditation exercise, and I have to say that it was hard to really focus lol. I kept forgetting what I was supposed to be meditating on, so I would stop and read again. I'm not surprised since I have 4 kids and they all had the last few days off from school, makes it hard for anything. I do find this similar to what I ask in my daily prayers, though, so that made it easier to understand.
I read the integral assessment steps, but I have already known for a long time that I need growth and development psychologically to help take control of my depression and extreme emotional vulnerability. The most significant sources of distress in my life have always been money, but especially now; this causes personal physical and emotional frustrations and hopelessness, plus relationship tension and effects my family as a whole. Also, I live in a small town and someone is spreading rumors about me (which is soooo juvenile) and I don't even know what's going on, lol. I have kids on meds for mental issues, I'm on meds I want to get off of, and my other half needs meds he can't get right now (he has anger issues). Too many things to focus on in one exercise, but it would go smoother if my children were not screaming lol. Right now the only things that I seem to be able to do for exercise of any kind is my treadmill and stretching/yoga; I want to incorporate some Ayurveda into it as well.

Subtle Mind

With the loving kindness exercise I had issues; I totally spaced out on the wall in front of me while listening, then couldn't remember anything that had been said by the narrator. For the subtle mind exercise I started listening and again didn't finish from spacing out (I never could do the whole 'book on  tape' thing), but this time I noted that the text said that would happen from time-to-time. What I did remember was that the breathing exercises in the subtle mind were not that much different than the breathing techniques I have been using for years. I have come to realize that breathing patterns can help with many things such as asthma, nausea, heartburn, and pain in general. I remember as a kid seeing a television show where they explained how deep breathing can keep you from losing your lunch (which is true), and I have always used that, lol.

The connections between spiritual, mental, and physical wellness is that we can't have one without the other and be completely happy or healthy in everyday life. I have come to see and feel that they are the trifecta for sane living (though sanity is relative to everyone's own definition). I can't live without my faith, it is my spirituality; without it I would lose my mental capacities. Without either of these my health would surely fail me, as it has done so in the past. Exercises or not, it's clear how things work, and how they are supposed to be.

Hey all~

I went through the exercise and I was a little more relaxed that it was a females voice, and that she wasn't always narrating the exercise. I listened to her talk for a few minutes, but then realized I had been staring the wall and spacing out, with no recollection of what I had just heard.  I couldn't remember if she had actually said anything, or if I was just not paying attention, which sort of bothered me, lol. With this personal experience, I really can't say whether or not I would recommend this to anyone, as I myself cannot remember any of it. Is this supposed to happen, like a subconscious thing? Almost like a trance.

Training the mind is like training your body; you have to build up to where you want to be, as far as your level of strength. The first type of contemplative practice, loving-
kindness, opens our heart to others; this gradually diminishes self-centeredness, priming our mind for further development. The second contemplative practice addresses the three levels of the subtle mind—witnessing, calm-abiding, and unity consciousness.
Using practices like these help prepare the mind for further development and awareness of self and environment; this helps cope with outside stresses and emotional weight.

Unit 3: On a scale...

On a scale of 1-10, I would have to say my physical well-being is about a 4. I am overweight, out of shape, and it’s faster to write a list of what isn’t wrong with me. My spiritual well-being is about an 8, as I have always had faith in God; without faith I would have been dead long ago. I don’t usually go out of my way to share this with others, but without faith in something higher I would see no other reason for being here, as I do not believe in accidents as complex as the human body. Saying this, I am only an 8 because I know I’m not perfect, and not everyone has all the answers; I don’t go out of my way to push my beliefs on others because I feel it’s not always right to do so. My psychological well-being is a 6; not good, but not always bad. I have depression and stress from too much on my plate all the time. I am borderline bipolar, and with my fibromyalgia depression is hard to rid. I lost my job, have relationship issues, I always have homework, and 3 out of 4 kids have behavioral disorders that are being dealt with; things are a bit psychotic around me right now.

I need to start using my treadmill to exercise more, but I need to find time for that without it bothering the other 5 people in my house; I should utilize any free time to do this. I also would like to eat better and cook healthier for the kids, but with our budget this isn’t easy. To make myself feel better about my faith I should probably start reading again; refresh feelings about my beliefs. As far as my psych goals, I need to start taking more natural supplement to balance out the chemicals that are in control of what goes on in my head. If I weren’t so broke I would just do that, but right now I have to take my pharmaceuticals as they are paid by insurance. I hate knowing that I could take things better for me but I can’t afford to; in my life it all comes down to money.

Once again, the relaxation exercise was not beneficial as there is narration again. I don’t like being told how to relax when I have 4 loud kids, Jammy cooking, and a whiny dog distracting my attention. My version of relaxation is sitting on the floor in the front room, while everyone else is asleep, playing with my beads and wire.